karma karma karma karma chameleon

I'm not entirely sure I believe in a karmic universe. The idea of someone or something playing puppeteer and determining my destiny just doesn't sit well with me. But then, every so often, I'll come across something that makes me believe, just a little bit.

Take that little gem of a sentence below. It's an excerpt from a post I skimmed while casually checking my Bloglines.

"Stop thinking so much and start having fun again."

I'm pretty sure I know who said that, but since he's (or she's) blogging anonymously and probably doesn't know I'm reading, I'll leave it unattributed. The whole post was money, but that specific sentence really spoke to me.

I haven't really been what you'd call "happy" as of late. I'm not sure if happy is the right adjective, actually. Perhaps "blah" is a better descriptor. Either way, I've misplaced the person I was last semester, the last time I truly enjoyed myself and my life. Now I feel bogged down with ills about my future, my appearance and my social confidence, just to name a few. Plus there's the frustration of losing that genuinely happy, last-semester me.

But that short sentence up there gives me hope. It's a lot of work to be sad; it's mentally taxing. There's value in telling your mind to shut-up and going with the flow - there's happiness in that. And, if I remember correctly, I did a lot of that last fall and winter. I enjoyed each day at face-value, nothing more, nothing less.

Guess I have to let go to get back to my roots, paradoxically speaking.

So thanks, Mr. (or Mrs.) Run For Your Lives! They Are Monsters!. Cheers.